So, I did the Week 4 run again on Monday...and plan to do it today as well. I did it. It was tough, but I got through.
I really think that the fact that I did the bike and leg weight machines before, last time, had something to do with not being able to finish last week.
I was told by a friend to do weights before I do my cardio...but I think, because most of the machines I'm doing, are leg machines, that its not helping me in the running department. Its tiring out my legs before I get a chance to run. I was talking to the trainer who works in the gym here at work and she said that she always does her cardio before the weights.
Gah...who do I listen to?? I get one thing from one group and another from another group. I guess in my head, I figure, at this point...at least I'm doing it and who cares, right now, in what order I do it. If I need to do my weights after I run, so that I can make it through, that is what I'm going to do. (No offense Jackie ;-) LOL)
So today I will run again. I'm not worried about it. I will finish.
Random TMI...what I do worry about today is the fact that I forgot my sports bra. LOL I'm not small chested. It'll be interesting to see how this goes. I may injure someone on the treadmill next to me!! Hahaha!
I plan to do Week 4 the rest of this week...and possibly next week. Not sure yet. I haven't looked to see what Week 5 is. LOL I'm afraid to. I am guessing its going to be 5 minute runs with a shorter rest in between. Maybe I'll surprise myself and at least try it.
Another reason why I debate starting a new week, next week is that on the 4th (in a week and a half) I have an appointment to get a new tattoo. Where you ask? Crazy me...on my foot. *smacks forehead* I'm excited. I've wanted it for a very long time...but figures, its going to mess up my running. I'm pretty sure I won't be able to put a sneaker on for at least a week or so. I'm even trying to figure out how to get ANY exercise the week after. Can you wear flip flops to the gym? LOL
In other news...I broke up with my boyfriend of 9 months, last week. Its more of a relief. I wasn't in love with him. The old clique quote "I love you, but I'm not IN love with you" comes to mind. It broke my heart to end things...he's a great guy. I've decided that I should use my running as something to focus on for the next month or two...or longer. Run to ease the pain instead of stuffing my face, and watching tv to ease the pain.
So, wish me luck. As I said the other day "Week 4...I OWN you!!"
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Friday, May 20, 2011
Grrrrr...
So, Wednesday I went to do my Week 4, Run 2. I was looking forward to doing it again. I walk into the gym at work and all the treadmills were full. So I figured I'd just do my weights and stuff first (which I usually do) and maybe by then someone will be off.
I finish my weights. Still no empty one. Figured I go do my crunches and hand weights. I usually do that after my run. I finish. Still no empty one.
So now I'm getting annoyed. There is a time limit when the gym is full. 20 minutes. If there are other empty treadmills...run for an hour if you want. If they are all being used, you are to limit your time. No one was following this rule. Two had been on them almost 40 minutes. Ugh. So I knew I wasn't going to get a full run in. I decided to go on one of the stationary bikes while I waited, but I was going to go slow in case I got the chance to run. I didn't want to tire out my legs.
5 minutes in...a treadmill opened up. I still knew I wasn't going to get a full run it, but decided to do what I could.
Ran my first 3 minutes. It was hard. Harder than usual. Then I got to my second run. 5 minutes. I couldn't do it. I literally could not move my legs. I felt like I was going to fall over. My chest hurt. I had to stop.
I was SO mad at myself. So mad. Why was I able to do it Monday, but not Wednesday?
I thought maybe the bike had tired my legs out. I also usually go on the end treadmill, next to where the fan is so I can have it blowing on me. I couldn't do that, that day. I was roasting and sweat was pouring off me. I also could see myself in the mirror. I did NOT like what I saw.
Those big thighs jiggling as I "ran". How big I looked. How pathetic I felt like I looked. To me, I felt like I was running/jogging...but when I looked in the mirror, I felt like it looked pathetic. Like I was barely moving my legs.
So maybe it was a combo of all of that. I don't know. I was...and still am...a little upset. I know people say you'll have days like that. I had planned to try again Thursday - even though that isn't my normal running day - but last minute I had to bring my daughter to the doctors. And today I am not at work - so no gym.
I'm going to try again Monday. I just hope I can find that strength in me again. I hope it was just the circumstances from Wednesday that didn't allow me to finish. I don't want to feel like that again.
In better news...I lost 4lbs this past week. Very happy about that. I've met my mini goal of 250lbs by the end of May. So yay me!
I finish my weights. Still no empty one. Figured I go do my crunches and hand weights. I usually do that after my run. I finish. Still no empty one.
So now I'm getting annoyed. There is a time limit when the gym is full. 20 minutes. If there are other empty treadmills...run for an hour if you want. If they are all being used, you are to limit your time. No one was following this rule. Two had been on them almost 40 minutes. Ugh. So I knew I wasn't going to get a full run in. I decided to go on one of the stationary bikes while I waited, but I was going to go slow in case I got the chance to run. I didn't want to tire out my legs.
5 minutes in...a treadmill opened up. I still knew I wasn't going to get a full run it, but decided to do what I could.
Ran my first 3 minutes. It was hard. Harder than usual. Then I got to my second run. 5 minutes. I couldn't do it. I literally could not move my legs. I felt like I was going to fall over. My chest hurt. I had to stop.
I was SO mad at myself. So mad. Why was I able to do it Monday, but not Wednesday?
I thought maybe the bike had tired my legs out. I also usually go on the end treadmill, next to where the fan is so I can have it blowing on me. I couldn't do that, that day. I was roasting and sweat was pouring off me. I also could see myself in the mirror. I did NOT like what I saw.
Those big thighs jiggling as I "ran". How big I looked. How pathetic I felt like I looked. To me, I felt like I was running/jogging...but when I looked in the mirror, I felt like it looked pathetic. Like I was barely moving my legs.
So maybe it was a combo of all of that. I don't know. I was...and still am...a little upset. I know people say you'll have days like that. I had planned to try again Thursday - even though that isn't my normal running day - but last minute I had to bring my daughter to the doctors. And today I am not at work - so no gym.
I'm going to try again Monday. I just hope I can find that strength in me again. I hope it was just the circumstances from Wednesday that didn't allow me to finish. I don't want to feel like that again.
In better news...I lost 4lbs this past week. Very happy about that. I've met my mini goal of 250lbs by the end of May. So yay me!
Monday, May 16, 2011
I did it!
I did it! I did it! I did it!!
I did Week 4 today, and while it was tough, it was not as bad as I thought it was going to be.
Perhaps it was because I just didn't have enough faith in myself...perhaps it was because I slowed my pace down from 4.5 to 4.0 (which the program tells you to do if you need to)...or perhaps it was a bit of both. I don't care which it was. I did it!
I had to stop running 10 seconds before my last run was over because I literally felt the sting of tears in the back of my throat and I was holding them back and couldn't catch my breath. A couple of tears did fall while I was doing my cook down walk - and when I got to my car, I lost it.
I am so proud of myself. I know its "only" been 4 weeks but I've come so far! 4 weeks ago, I barely could do the 60 seconds of running. And now I'm doing up to 5 minutes...300 seconds of running!!
I went from 8 total minutes of running to today I did 16 minutes of running. That is double what I was doing 4 weeks ago!
Yay me!!!!
I did Week 4 today, and while it was tough, it was not as bad as I thought it was going to be.
Perhaps it was because I just didn't have enough faith in myself...perhaps it was because I slowed my pace down from 4.5 to 4.0 (which the program tells you to do if you need to)...or perhaps it was a bit of both. I don't care which it was. I did it!
I had to stop running 10 seconds before my last run was over because I literally felt the sting of tears in the back of my throat and I was holding them back and couldn't catch my breath. A couple of tears did fall while I was doing my cook down walk - and when I got to my car, I lost it.
I am so proud of myself. I know its "only" been 4 weeks but I've come so far! 4 weeks ago, I barely could do the 60 seconds of running. And now I'm doing up to 5 minutes...300 seconds of running!!
I went from 8 total minutes of running to today I did 16 minutes of running. That is double what I was doing 4 weeks ago!
Yay me!!!!
Just gonna do it.
So I'm thinking about trying Week 4 today.
I'm still unsure about it. Not sure I'll be able to do it...but I'm going to try.
I discovered, on Friday, if I slowed down my pace for the 3 minute run, I could do it. It was still tough, but it was easier.
I'm afraid I'm going to get stuck on Week 3 if I never attempt to do Week 4. I am only going to be able to run twice this week due to being busy on Friday and not being at work, where I use the gym. So I was thinking that if I did Week 4 today, I could take it slow and then next week, repeat. So I'd do 5 days instead of just 3, because I have a feeling I'm going to have to repeat a week, anyway.
I watch people running at the gym...middle aged men, young men, young ladies...and I just can't even imagine doing it. I'm 34...and to see a 50 something year old man just book'n it on the treadmill...I feel like a loser. If a middle aged man can do it...why can't I? I can't imagine getting to the point where I can just jump on the treadmill and run. I feel like it'll never happen to me. I envy them. I know, logically, if I just keep up with it, eventually it'll happen - it just seems so unattainable right now. I want it so badly. Just worried that it won't happen. Again, logically I know it will...if I keep up with it...but its still a very real fear for me right now.
So, today I'm going to give it a shot. We'll see. I might not be able to do it...but I'm going to go into it thinking that if I push myself, I'll be able to.
Wish me luck!
Brisk five-minute warmup walk, then:
| Brisk five-minute warmup walk, then:
| Brisk five-minute warmup walk, then:
|
I'm still unsure about it. Not sure I'll be able to do it...but I'm going to try.
I discovered, on Friday, if I slowed down my pace for the 3 minute run, I could do it. It was still tough, but it was easier.
I'm afraid I'm going to get stuck on Week 3 if I never attempt to do Week 4. I am only going to be able to run twice this week due to being busy on Friday and not being at work, where I use the gym. So I was thinking that if I did Week 4 today, I could take it slow and then next week, repeat. So I'd do 5 days instead of just 3, because I have a feeling I'm going to have to repeat a week, anyway.
I watch people running at the gym...middle aged men, young men, young ladies...and I just can't even imagine doing it. I'm 34...and to see a 50 something year old man just book'n it on the treadmill...I feel like a loser. If a middle aged man can do it...why can't I? I can't imagine getting to the point where I can just jump on the treadmill and run. I feel like it'll never happen to me. I envy them. I know, logically, if I just keep up with it, eventually it'll happen - it just seems so unattainable right now. I want it so badly. Just worried that it won't happen. Again, logically I know it will...if I keep up with it...but its still a very real fear for me right now.
So, today I'm going to give it a shot. We'll see. I might not be able to do it...but I'm going to go into it thinking that if I push myself, I'll be able to.
Wish me luck!
Thursday, May 12, 2011
Not ready...
Well, it was a hard decision for me to make, but I decided to rerun Week 3 for a little longer.
Normally I go into a new week with a little nervousness and a feeling of "I'm not sure I can do it". And I think that is probably normal. But this week, I really felt sheer terror when I thought about doing Week 4. I was barely making it through Week 3. Even on the first of two, 3 minute runs, I was almost tripping over my feet and I was feeling like I was not going to make it. I feel like it didn't get much easier as the week went on, when on other weeks, by the end of Run 3, I was feeling "ok" with it. Not the case this time.
I struggled with feeling like I was letting myself down. Feeling like "what is wrong with me". Feeling like I should have been able to move on. Anger that I couldn't do it. I just knew my body was not ready for it. It wasn't just "I'm not sure" it was a feeling of just knowing that this week is different...and that my fear, rather than just nervousness, was my bodies way of telling me to listen to it.
Someone told me that becoming a runner means that you begin to listen to your body. And you treat it well. And I feel like if I had tried Week 4, I would not be doing that. I may injure myself, it could leave me feeling defeated and upset...it could knock me off the high that I've been feeling. The pride that I've been feeling. And while I am slightly upset that I could not move on, I know that repeating a week means that I'm not giving up. I'm listening to my body. I'm taking the time it needs to be ready for Week 4.
I plan on doing Week 3 a few more times at least. I'm just going to take it a run at a time and listen to what my body is telling me.
So what if this 9 week program takes me 10, 11, or 20 weeks. I'm doing it.
Two friends shared the two quotes below, with me. I feel like I they are spot on. Its making me realize that I still am, regardless of repeating a week, doing awesome! My goal has not changed. If anything, my goal and the desire to get there has grown from this.
Normally I go into a new week with a little nervousness and a feeling of "I'm not sure I can do it". And I think that is probably normal. But this week, I really felt sheer terror when I thought about doing Week 4. I was barely making it through Week 3. Even on the first of two, 3 minute runs, I was almost tripping over my feet and I was feeling like I was not going to make it. I feel like it didn't get much easier as the week went on, when on other weeks, by the end of Run 3, I was feeling "ok" with it. Not the case this time.
I struggled with feeling like I was letting myself down. Feeling like "what is wrong with me". Feeling like I should have been able to move on. Anger that I couldn't do it. I just knew my body was not ready for it. It wasn't just "I'm not sure" it was a feeling of just knowing that this week is different...and that my fear, rather than just nervousness, was my bodies way of telling me to listen to it.
Someone told me that becoming a runner means that you begin to listen to your body. And you treat it well. And I feel like if I had tried Week 4, I would not be doing that. I may injure myself, it could leave me feeling defeated and upset...it could knock me off the high that I've been feeling. The pride that I've been feeling. And while I am slightly upset that I could not move on, I know that repeating a week means that I'm not giving up. I'm listening to my body. I'm taking the time it needs to be ready for Week 4.
I plan on doing Week 3 a few more times at least. I'm just going to take it a run at a time and listen to what my body is telling me.
So what if this 9 week program takes me 10, 11, or 20 weeks. I'm doing it.
Two friends shared the two quotes below, with me. I feel like I they are spot on. Its making me realize that I still am, regardless of repeating a week, doing awesome! My goal has not changed. If anything, my goal and the desire to get there has grown from this.
REMEMBER: No matter how slow you run, you are still going faster than someone sitting on the couch!!
The miracle isn't that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start. ~ John Bingham
Monday, May 9, 2011
Ugh...I looked.
Remember last week I had said that I was glad I didn't look at the upcoming week? And remember I said that was probably good because otherwise I may not try it?
Yeah...I looked at the upcoming week. I'm terrified.
I'm not sure what I thought it was going to be...but this week I'm doing 90 seconds of running, 90 seconds of walking, 3 minutes of running, 3 minutes of walking...and repeat. On those 3 minute runs, I'm dying. Like I feel like I'm going to fall off the treadmill. The second 3 minute run is torture. I really push to make it. I make it...but barely.
Well, next week is 3 minutes of running, 3 minutes of walking, FIVE minutes of running, five minutes of walking...and repeat.
I never should have looked. I'm terrified. And this isn't me just unsure about whether or not I can make it...I really do NOT think I'm ready for it.
When I do the three minute runs now...even the first one...my lungs are burning, my legs feel weak and I feel like I may fall. I can NOT imagine running 5 minutes at this point.
I'm debating on whether to even try. I'm wondering if maybe I'll finish off the week and stay on Week 3 and maybe a couple more days of it will get me in a better place.
I think about the future and I can't even imagine being able to run for more than a couple minutes without stopping to walk and catch my breath. I want to. I believe I will...but right now the future is still a little foggy. Its not so clear. There is still that doubt and fear and "not me, I can't do that" in my mind.
I HATE that I don't feel ready. I feel like I'm letting myself down. I'm letting my goal slip away just a little.
Next run is Wednesday. So, now I need to decide what to do. Do I at least try? Part of me feels like I should. No harm in trying. But part of me really really feels like I won't be able to do it. So, do I just do another two runs on Week 3?
Unsure right now.
I should have just taken my own advice last week and not looked. Someone smack me, please!
Yeah...I looked at the upcoming week. I'm terrified.
I'm not sure what I thought it was going to be...but this week I'm doing 90 seconds of running, 90 seconds of walking, 3 minutes of running, 3 minutes of walking...and repeat. On those 3 minute runs, I'm dying. Like I feel like I'm going to fall off the treadmill. The second 3 minute run is torture. I really push to make it. I make it...but barely.
Well, next week is 3 minutes of running, 3 minutes of walking, FIVE minutes of running, five minutes of walking...and repeat.
I never should have looked. I'm terrified. And this isn't me just unsure about whether or not I can make it...I really do NOT think I'm ready for it.
When I do the three minute runs now...even the first one...my lungs are burning, my legs feel weak and I feel like I may fall. I can NOT imagine running 5 minutes at this point.
I'm debating on whether to even try. I'm wondering if maybe I'll finish off the week and stay on Week 3 and maybe a couple more days of it will get me in a better place.
I think about the future and I can't even imagine being able to run for more than a couple minutes without stopping to walk and catch my breath. I want to. I believe I will...but right now the future is still a little foggy. Its not so clear. There is still that doubt and fear and "not me, I can't do that" in my mind.
I HATE that I don't feel ready. I feel like I'm letting myself down. I'm letting my goal slip away just a little.
Next run is Wednesday. So, now I need to decide what to do. Do I at least try? Part of me feels like I should. No harm in trying. But part of me really really feels like I won't be able to do it. So, do I just do another two runs on Week 3?
Unsure right now.
I should have just taken my own advice last week and not looked. Someone smack me, please!
Friday, May 6, 2011
Glad for once I didn't pay attention.
So, Week 3 Run 1 was on Wednesday. I was under the impression that it was very similar to last weeks running, but with a shorter walk time. Last week it was run for 90 seconds and walk for 2 minutes. And I did that 6 times. I thought this week was run 90 seconds and walk for 90 seconds, instead of the 2 minutes. Seemed good. Was glad it didn't change too much...thought it was kinda odd that the running time didn't increase, but whatever.
Well, Wednesday I jumped on the treadmill, opened the app on my iPhone and when I saw the breakdown, I nearly died! Boy was I wrong. It was run for 90, walk for 90, run for THREE MINUTES, walk for three minutes and repeat.
Three minutes! Seriously!? I was like - no way will I be able to do three minutes. That is insane. In my mind, I was yelling at the app and the program asking them what the heck they were thinking! Three minutes? How about two? Nope...skipped right over that.
I almost decided not to do it. I almost turned the app off, and switched back to last weeks run time, but I decided I should try. And guess what? I did it!!
There were two three minute runs in total. I was running at about 4.7. On the second three minute run, half way through I had to slow it down to 4.3...but I did it! Yay me!! I was so proud of myself. So proud. Two months ago, I never could have imagined doing this. But I am.
I'm kinda glad for once I didn't look ahead to see what Week 3 was because I probably would have not even tried. I think being surprised about it helped. I wasn't nervous about it all day like I probably would have been if I had seen it coming.
Today is Week 3 Run 2...and I'm scared. But I did it Wednesday. I can do it today.
But...for the record...I don't even want to know what Week 4's run time is. *faint*
Well, Wednesday I jumped on the treadmill, opened the app on my iPhone and when I saw the breakdown, I nearly died! Boy was I wrong. It was run for 90, walk for 90, run for THREE MINUTES, walk for three minutes and repeat.
Three minutes! Seriously!? I was like - no way will I be able to do three minutes. That is insane. In my mind, I was yelling at the app and the program asking them what the heck they were thinking! Three minutes? How about two? Nope...skipped right over that.
I almost decided not to do it. I almost turned the app off, and switched back to last weeks run time, but I decided I should try. And guess what? I did it!!
There were two three minute runs in total. I was running at about 4.7. On the second three minute run, half way through I had to slow it down to 4.3...but I did it! Yay me!! I was so proud of myself. So proud. Two months ago, I never could have imagined doing this. But I am.
I'm kinda glad for once I didn't look ahead to see what Week 3 was because I probably would have not even tried. I think being surprised about it helped. I wasn't nervous about it all day like I probably would have been if I had seen it coming.
Today is Week 3 Run 2...and I'm scared. But I did it Wednesday. I can do it today.
But...for the record...I don't even want to know what Week 4's run time is. *faint*
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Does anyone believe in me?
I know I have a lot of people rooting for me. Encouraging me. Asking me how the "diet" is going and how the gym is going. I love the support and it helps me immensely. Just to hear how proud people are of me and their words of encouragement. Those words echo in my head as I'm pushing through my runs.
But on the other hand, part of me wonders if, in the back of their heads, they are wondering when I will fail. When I'll give up. Not that anyone wishes it on me...but I've "failed" so many times before, I wonder if they just expect it.
There is a man I work with who has a funny sense of humor. I always tell him that he has no filter. He says things that just make me cringe. But he's a nice guy and sometimes he just says what other people are probably thinking, but won't say.
Well, a few times since I've started my journey, he's made comments about how he thinks I'll fail. Or that I'll injure myself and will quit the gym/running, and gain my weight back and then some. He said I'll never run a 5K and if I do, he'll pay me $20. In my mind, I know he is kidding. At least I think he is. He just is like that. Says stuff like that all the time. But part of me wonders if there is any truth to his predictions. Not that I believe I'll fail, but I wonder if part of him, and others, really think at some point I will.
And why wouldn't they have that thought? How many times have I decided to eat better? How many times have I started and restarted Atkins...and then switched it up to just eat better. And it never lasts long. I always have an excuse as to why I can't work out. Like Dr. Phil says (Yes, I'm quoting Dr. Phil. LOL) "The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior." And my past behavior shows I'm a quitter.
But Dr. Phil also asks that questions "...and how's that working for ya?" Well, its not. It hasn't. My past behavior has turned me into a woman who is 257lbs, has a cholesterol level of 250 and is inactive. So...its not working. But I recognize that.
I've come to recognize that if I don't change my life - food, exercise, etc. - then I'm going to die early.
I've often said, about people who smoke and have kids, that they are cheating their child out of a parent. They are cutting their life short. They are selfish. But one day, not that long ago I realized, I'm doing the same thing...with food. I'm selfish. I'm eating what I want, because I want to, when I want to, with no regard for my health. With no regard to the fact that I'm cheating my little girl out of having a mom for a really long time.
Even after having that revelation, I still didn't make changes. Well, I tried to...a few times, but I always failed.
I'm not going to this time. I've decided not to be selfish. And as I've said before, I'm doing this not only for me, but for my little girl. I want to see her grow up. I want to see her graduate and get married and have babies. I want to see my grandchildren grow up. I can't do that without changing my life.
I plan on showing the people who make those "jokes" that I will do it. I will reach my goals. I will not quit. Its different this time. I'm changing my future. I'm changing OUR future.
I love you sweet baby girl. You are my life.
But on the other hand, part of me wonders if, in the back of their heads, they are wondering when I will fail. When I'll give up. Not that anyone wishes it on me...but I've "failed" so many times before, I wonder if they just expect it.
There is a man I work with who has a funny sense of humor. I always tell him that he has no filter. He says things that just make me cringe. But he's a nice guy and sometimes he just says what other people are probably thinking, but won't say.
Well, a few times since I've started my journey, he's made comments about how he thinks I'll fail. Or that I'll injure myself and will quit the gym/running, and gain my weight back and then some. He said I'll never run a 5K and if I do, he'll pay me $20. In my mind, I know he is kidding. At least I think he is. He just is like that. Says stuff like that all the time. But part of me wonders if there is any truth to his predictions. Not that I believe I'll fail, but I wonder if part of him, and others, really think at some point I will.
And why wouldn't they have that thought? How many times have I decided to eat better? How many times have I started and restarted Atkins...and then switched it up to just eat better. And it never lasts long. I always have an excuse as to why I can't work out. Like Dr. Phil says (Yes, I'm quoting Dr. Phil. LOL) "The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior." And my past behavior shows I'm a quitter.
But Dr. Phil also asks that questions "...and how's that working for ya?" Well, its not. It hasn't. My past behavior has turned me into a woman who is 257lbs, has a cholesterol level of 250 and is inactive. So...its not working. But I recognize that.
I've come to recognize that if I don't change my life - food, exercise, etc. - then I'm going to die early.
I've often said, about people who smoke and have kids, that they are cheating their child out of a parent. They are cutting their life short. They are selfish. But one day, not that long ago I realized, I'm doing the same thing...with food. I'm selfish. I'm eating what I want, because I want to, when I want to, with no regard for my health. With no regard to the fact that I'm cheating my little girl out of having a mom for a really long time.
Even after having that revelation, I still didn't make changes. Well, I tried to...a few times, but I always failed.
I'm not going to this time. I've decided not to be selfish. And as I've said before, I'm doing this not only for me, but for my little girl. I want to see her grow up. I want to see her graduate and get married and have babies. I want to see my grandchildren grow up. I can't do that without changing my life.
I plan on showing the people who make those "jokes" that I will do it. I will reach my goals. I will not quit. Its different this time. I'm changing my future. I'm changing OUR future.
I love you sweet baby girl. You are my life.
Monday, May 2, 2011
*cries* I don't wanna!
I don't want to go to the gym today. In my mind I keep trying to come up with good reasons why I can't.
You know what though? None of those "reasons" are enough. They are not "reasons"...they are excuses.
So what, I don't like the gym...of course I don't. I'm 257lbs and prior to a couple of weeks ago, my idea of exercise was taking the stairs instead of the elevator.
So what, I don't like sweating...sweating equals hard work.
So what, if people are thinking "What the heck is she trying to do?"
I'm TRYING to get healthy. That's what I'm trying to do. And being my regular lazy self isn't going to get me there.
I know making an excuse to not go today is only going to lead to other excuses in the future. I'm going to make myself go. There is no excuse good enough (well, not on that list anyway) that makes it ok not to go. I made a promise to myself and a promise to my little girl. My life. That I would get myself healthy, and that is what I intend to do!
So whether I like it or not, gym...here I come. And you treadmill over there...and you people looking at me...get used to it. I will be there Monday through Friday, working my tail off.
Week 2, Run 3 today...I think I'll live.
- I was up an hour earlier than usual last night.
- I have to go food shopping.
- I had a busy weekend and just want to plop on the couch and do nothing.
- I've worked hard. I deserve a day here and there, right?
- I just don't want to.
You know what though? None of those "reasons" are enough. They are not "reasons"...they are excuses.
So what, I don't like the gym...of course I don't. I'm 257lbs and prior to a couple of weeks ago, my idea of exercise was taking the stairs instead of the elevator.
So what, I don't like sweating...sweating equals hard work.
So what, if people are thinking "What the heck is she trying to do?"
I'm TRYING to get healthy. That's what I'm trying to do. And being my regular lazy self isn't going to get me there.
I know making an excuse to not go today is only going to lead to other excuses in the future. I'm going to make myself go. There is no excuse good enough (well, not on that list anyway) that makes it ok not to go. I made a promise to myself and a promise to my little girl. My life. That I would get myself healthy, and that is what I intend to do!
So whether I like it or not, gym...here I come. And you treadmill over there...and you people looking at me...get used to it. I will be there Monday through Friday, working my tail off.
Week 2, Run 3 today...I think I'll live.
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